More random thoughts from me, an Autistic adult who will be 54 years old in May......who refuses to shut up and go away just because some people want me to!!
The following is taken from a message i was just posting to my friend, and re-edited into this blog:
First of all, when i move to Michigan, i will want to live where there are the fewest power outages possible, as i majorly freak out if the power goes out in the middle of the night. I would want to stock up on power failure lighting and keep enough batteries on hand for if and when power failures occur. I know Michigan has alot of storms, both in the summer and winter, so i want to be prepared. And i want to live where there won't be any risk of floods, as that will freak me out too. I am paranoid about fire, floods, and power outages, as well as certain loud noises. Like the ones i have to hear here on my current street.
For all who don't yet know, the reason i am moving to Michigan, is because, as an Autistic adult, i don't have any services and supports here. I don't even have much support from my city's police---more on that later.
MI has all kinds of supports, programs, and services for Autistic adults.
Here in CA, i don't even have family to call upon, as they all live out of state now, and the one brother who still lives here, now ignores me too. The friends i do have here, are very few, and i am not very close to any of them....and they are all always very busy with their busy schedules and lives. So, i cannot call upon them either.
Here in CA, i have had to endure the trauma of having several of my caregivers walk out on me, and i also went through three caregiver relationships where i was abused and exploited---big time.
I also had to endure the loss of several close friendships that really meant the world to me.
I have also had to endure several neighbors bully and terrorize the living daylights out of me also, for the past 23 years of living in my current neighborhood.
I have had to endure the trauma of being denied healthcare time and again, and as a result, watching my legs swell up, because of being denied treatment. Now i have a basketball-sized tumor on my left inside thigh because of the lack of medical care, and my inability to be able to make all of my neccessary medical appointments.
I have had to endure both my physical as well as mental health go downhill because of all of this.
I am anxious and depressed all the time.
My only hope at being able to salvage what is left of my health and well-being is to move out of my home state...to the state of Michigan.
I know that when i am in Michigan, that the friend i have there, and her family will NOT leave me hanging and stranded whenever i have needs, and i also know they will not EVER dismiss me as being a drama queen or too high maintenance. Nor will they EVER tell me that i am hiding behind the shadow of my Autism, or using my Autism as any excuse.
My other reason of choosing Michigan, is that i really love the scenery there, all of it, and do want to explore that state. I also want to get my life story as an Autistic who has lived my life misunderstood, and who has fallen through the cracks all along so far,
and i want to write and pursue educating the world about Autism and the plight of Autistic adults, even more after that.
I also want to get more into computers and graphic design and art.
I know in my heart of hearts, that i will have a fresh start in Michigan.
I realize i will be leaving a state that i have been familiar with my whole life, as well as the perfect weather we have here most of the time. In Michigan, i will contend with snow, ice, and subzero temps in the winter. And humidity, thunderstorms, and mosquitoes in the summer.
But i have to go.....too much has happened here now that has ruined things for me here, too many not just bad memories, but very traumatic memories. It is my strong view that those who i have had bad problems with here in Santa Maria's Good Ole Boy Network,
which does include
the auto shop,
and a few other families,
including the family of the mean girls who started all of my troubles here back in April of 1992....have all helped to ruin any chance i have of success and a decent life here.
So yeah, i need to move.
Michigan seems to be my ticket to freedom.