Friday, April 5, 2019
Saturday, June 2, 2018
To all of the people who think it's a fun sport to deliberately bully, torment, and terrorize a lonely housebound disabled autistic adult in the only home they currently have to live in.....
....by parking in a parking lot near my house with your loud bass thumping and bumping and vibrating the walls of my living room, just so you can get a delightful kick out of hearing my screams of sheer pain and agony....
.....screams so loud i lose my voice and my throat sometimes bleeds, and it makes my whole head hurt, and me feel sick and weakened-----yet you still won't stop---and i have to keep screaming till you finally relent and turn the bass off.....
....leave from your place of work at the auto shop, with your loud big beige 4X4 truck, and gun the bloody murder out of it, causing me to scream, because someone has told you i'm a monster who deserves this kind of treatment.....
...do any of you realize that these noises actually cause me pain? Maybe it's not physical pain but it is a painful anguish, and it vibrates my entire head and digestive system when you make these noises....
.....i wish you would, once and for all, sit down and Google the blogs of #actuallyautistic #neurodivergent adults, and start learning about who we are, and what our disability is, and is not.
I am sure that if any of you who so cruelly like to bully and terrorize me every afternoon, had an autistic son or daughter of your own....
......or, say, you have a sister or brother or mother or father who's autistic.... and they were being bullied just like i am, and they came to you, sobbing brokenheartedly because they are wondering why people are so cruel to them, then maybe you would finally know the real pain you are causing me in my own home when you set out to use your car stereos and car engines to torment and terrorize me.
Being autistic does not equate me as being bad, wrong, broken, missing, less-than, damaged, and deserving of this kind of torture.
Just hoping to get you to understand.....if someone you loved were getting treated this way, would you not move heaven and earth to help get those bullies to lay off?
Hi, my name is Melissa. And i am a real human being. And i have feelings just like you do.
Please stop making what life i have left on this earth so unbearable.
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
An #ActuallyAutistic fact about me.
When i was 8 and 9 years old, i had a childhood friend who liked to promise me we were going to go to her house and we were going to play all these exciting games with her dolls and toy trucks, and do slip n slide, etc.
We'd get to her house, and her mom would serve us a delicious lunch of sandwiches, and all different kinds of snack chips, and flavors of soda pop.
Then this friend would suddenly turn mean, and start teasing me and saying she hated me. She would take her dolls and other toys away from me, and tell me "No, i've decided i don't want you to play with my dolls, trucks, etc. after all!"
I would end up hanging out with this friend's mom. I'd go home upset.
The next day i would go to school, still upset, and the way this childhood friend treated me, would gravely affect my entire day at school. And often the entire week at school. I would meltdown at the least little thing, both in my classroom and on the playground at recess. I couldn't concentrate on my schoolwork, do any of my schoolwork, and i would even wet myself.
As an autistic adult, guess what? I am still gravely affected by people like that childhood friend. No, i don't wet myself anymore, but when people won't listen, let me talk, and believe me when i say i can or can't do something, or they are harsh and insensitive towards me, and say things that are harsh and insensitive, then not let me defend myself, i still get upset, and stay upset for sometimes days----i cannot sleep, or walk as well, nor can i even hold a decent conversation. I still meltdown at the tiniest things. I now get bad sick stomach spells over this.
It really does matter that neurotypical people really listen and learn about us autistic people, because to not learn, and then get impatient when we don't or can't do things, or life, the NT way, hurts us more than you can know. To reject us hurts us more than you can know.
Because an autistic person's brain is wired neurodivergently, instead of neurotypically. We see, smell, taste, hear, and touch things much more deeply than a neurotypical person.
A person's words can literally mean life or death to an already marginalized and misunderstood person. When you take the time to read and watch autistic people's blogs and videos, and learn about us, and then befriend us, and really get to know us and accept us, not just "tolerate" us, it makes a real positive difference to us.