Please Listen--I Am Autistic--I Am Not Just Hurting--I Am In Pieces!!

I am autistic....i am not a criminal

I am autistic....and i am so lonely and alone

I feel so utterly cold and cut off

Please do not belittle me

Please do not discount my feelings

Please do not discount what i say

Please do not blow me off and ignore me

Please do not judge me and make assumptions of me

Please do not stereotype me, i have a personality, i do care, i do have a sense of humor

Please do not get fed up, walk off, and throw me away

Just because i am too difficult  and just not convenient for you to be friends with

Please don't feel free to talk down to me, yell at me, and call me names

Please don't feel that you can threaten me and make me feel threatened

Please don't try to shut me down, shut down on me, or shut me up

Please don't laugh at me and make fun of me like i am a joke

Please stop deliberately making noise just to hear my meltdown

Please stop bullying me and tormenting me

I am NOT this way by choice

I was born this way

My autism is me, this is who i am

And who i will be till the day i die

I am once again broken into a million pieces

because yet another person has come into ly life and has promised

never to turn against me, never to give up on me

And yet she has done just that

Just as my other ex-friend and other caregivers did

These things not only hurt, they take me down to the very floor

And then it gets all that much harder to trust yet again

I am scared to death that my new caregiver will also walk out on me

I am scared to death that most of my family will always ignore me

I am scared to death that i will never find the right care that is autism-friendly

I am scared to death that i will never get to see New York, New England, 

All the Eastern US, and the states of Michigan and Wisconsin

I am scared i will even have my meager tiny government benefits

Cut or taken away altogether

I am scared that i will just be thrown into a home

To continue to waste away till finally i just die

Someone PLEASE help me

PLEASE......Do i even MATTER to anyone here where i live????????

Do i even MATTER to any of you here on California's golden Central Coast?????