Sunday, March 17, 2013

Please Listen--I Am Autistic--I Am Not Just Hurting--I Am In Pieces!!

I am autistic....i am not a criminal
I am autistic....and i am so lonely and alone
I feel so utterly cold and cut off
Please do not belittle me
Please do not discount my feelings
Please do not discount what i say
Please do not blow me off and ignore me
Please do not judge me and make assumptions of me
Please do not stereotype me, i have a personality, i do care, i do have a sense of humor
Please do not get fed up, walk off, and throw me away
Just because i am too difficult  and just not convenient for you to be friends with
Please don't feel free to talk down to me, yell at me, and call me names
Please don't feel that you can threaten me and make me feel threatened
Please don't try to shut me down, shut down on me, or shut me up
Please don't laugh at me and make fun of me like i am a joke
Please stop deliberately making noise just to hear my meltdown
Please stop bullying me and tormenting me
I am NOT this way by choice
I was born this way
My autism is me, this is who i am
And who i will be till the day i die
I am once again broken into a million pieces
because yet another person has come into ly life and has promised
never to turn against me, never to give up on me
And yet she has done just that
Just as my other ex-friend and other caregivers did
These things not only hurt, they take me down to the very floor
And then it gets all that much harder to trust yet again
I am scared to death that my new caregiver will also walk out on me
I am scared to death that most of my family will always ignore me
I am scared to death that i will never find the right care that is autism-friendly
I am scared to death that i will never get to see New York, New England, 
All the Eastern US, and the states of Michigan and Wisconsin
I am scared i will even have my meager tiny government benefits
Cut or taken away altogether
I am scared that i will just be thrown into a home
To continue to waste away till finally i just die
Someone PLEASE help me
PLEASE......Do i even MATTER to anyone here where i live????????
Do i even MATTER to any of you here on California's golden Central Coast?????

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