Saturday, September 21, 2013

I Wish People Would Understand........

 The below post was originally written by me on May 23, 2013.....

I wish people would understand what autism means......what autism really means......

It means we cannot march at a normal person'e beat
it means that we are in our own worlds, and that we go at our own pace in life
it means that our brains are wired differently than yours is
it means that most people, because they don't or won't understand,
they will often misjudge us, make false assumptions about us,
come down on us so harshly
then they turn on us and walk off on us
alot of people think they can exploit and abuse us both emotionally and financially, and they do that too
some people will even go to that next level and hurt and abuse us physically
society cannot fix or cure us
they cannot scold us and yell at us and scream at us
alot of people will exclude us, ignore us, and leave us out of activities and parties and all other fun events
alot of people assume that we don't have a heart, that we have no empathy
that we have no personality or sense of humor
and they are wrong
we do have a heart 
we do have feelings
we hurt like you hurt
especially when you come at us in such a cruel and harsh manner
each time someone i care about turns against me and gives up on me
or comes at me wanting to cure and fix me
that is oppression
it is as if someone has taken all the colors of the rainbow away from me
it is as if someone has taken the pen from my hand to write with
it is as if my mouth is being sewn tightly shut
and my very laughter and joy
and the very sun is being turned off
it is as if you have crumpled a rose that is trying to bloom in its own way
i feel so alone
i am lonely
all the time
crying to get out
but you all want me to do it your way, and i cannot
does this make me a hopeless case?
no, it just means i do these things a different way
i want to bloom
but you have to let me bloom the only way i know how to bloom
using the tools i have available to me
accept me, don't try to cure me or fix me
and don't turn against me when i do it differently or too slowly
when you ask, let me explain and really listen
autism is a complex thing, but it is not a bad thing unless you make it a bad thing
i want to learn and grow
but i need friends and support who are here for me
or i will eventually just give up forever.......

Thank you, to all of my friends who do care about me and accept me and who do get me.
Thank you all for being like my second family. I wish i could do better than i am.....
But i do love all of you, each and every one of you, with all of my heart and soul.......

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