I Wish People Would Understand........

 The below post was originally written by me on May 23, 2013.....

I wish people would understand what autism means......what autism really means......

It means we cannot march at a normal person'e beat

it means that we are in our own worlds, and that we go at our own pace in life

it means that our brains are wired differently than yours is

it means that most people, because they don't or won't understand,

they will often misjudge us, make false assumptions about us,

come down on us so harshly

then they turn on us and walk off on us

alot of people think they can exploit and abuse us both emotionally and financially, and they do that too

some people will even go to that next level and hurt and abuse us physically

society cannot fix or cure us

they cannot scold us and yell at us and scream at us

alot of people will exclude us, ignore us, and leave us out of activities and parties and all other fun events

alot of people assume that we don't have a heart, that we have no empathy

that we have no personality or sense of humor

and they are wrong

we do have a heart 

we do have feelings

we hurt like you hurt

especially when you come at us in such a cruel and harsh manner

each time someone i care about turns against me and gives up on me

or comes at me wanting to cure and fix me

that is oppression

it is as if someone has taken all the colors of the rainbow away from me

it is as if someone has taken the pen from my hand to write with

it is as if my mouth is being sewn tightly shut

and my very laughter and joy

and the very sun is being turned off

it is as if you have crumpled a rose that is trying to bloom in its own way

i feel so alone

i am lonely

all the time

crying to get out

but you all want me to do it your way, and i cannot

does this make me a hopeless case?

no, it just means i do these things a different way

i want to bloom

but you have to let me bloom the only way i know how to bloom

using the tools i have available to me

accept me, don't try to cure me or fix me

and don't turn against me when i do it differently or too slowly

when you ask, let me explain and really listen

autism is a complex thing, but it is not a bad thing unless you make it a bad thing

i want to learn and grow

but i need friends and support who are here for me

or i will eventually just give up forever.......

Thank you, to all of my friends who do care about me and accept me and who do get me.

Thank you all for being like my second family. I wish i could do better than i am.....

But i do love all of you, each and every one of you, with all of my heart and soul.......