Saturday, August 14, 2010

The Scathing Hell Continues

It is Saturday..it is mid-August..and i am still here. The mean bully monsters are across the street again, working on a classic car and are bothering me because they won't respect my desire for at least a weekend of relief and peace from the loud hot rod noises and smells and their nastiness...i wish i just had somdeone to come here to help me with my computer issues when they occur...all of my close friends are on Facebook and live all over the US and in the UK and Australia and a few other places..but i can't seem to find friends here who get my autism like my autism community friends do on Facebook who all live so far away. I still do not feel that i can get on the phone to call on the brother that lives here in Santa Maria..i feel so alone today, and like this is never ever going to end.

I was just talking to my neighbor, the nice one who is my friend, last night..and i was telling him that i am actually housebound in the daytimes due to the mean bully monsters and their terrorism against me!!! And...this is true..i AM!!!! I am literally afraid to go anywhere or even be outside in my front yard becasue i will get taunted and yelled at....and they will honk their horns and rev their loud engines at me just to hear me scream and have a meltdown..and then they sit and laugh at me when i have those meltdowns....God, this is HELL!!!!! Hell in its purest form, right here on earth!!!!

Yes, this is what it is like to be a middle-aged adult who is autistic and who cannot get the help and supports she needs so she can finally work on having her physical health back, and a decent life off of all these scary government programs.

And...on and on this goes.

4 comments:

KWombles said...

((())) I'm so sorry. I wish I had suggestions to offer, advice to give. I'm thinking of you.

Melissa said...

Thank you, Kim!! <3<3<3<3

Thewildeman2 said...

Are these young punk types? Sounds like it and unfortunately, educating them or achieving mature behavior from them can be a real challenge. You could use some local advocacy in your neighbor hood. Is there a League of Human Dignity in your area?

They need to made to understand how the loud noises can actually be painful.

Melissa said...

Some of them are, as the owners do hire young kids/teens too, but alot of these employees are actually grown men with families who do this to me...the only advocasy agency that i know of is with Santa Barbara County Mental Health...and they lost their one good advocate 4 years ago.

Believe me, i am in excruciating pain sometimes due to this...and i feel like this is jail to me, everyday that they are here....