A Late Night Poem, Autistic Part Two

Autistic Please don't use it as a cuss word. It is a valid disability, it is a part of me, and i cannot take it off like one can take off clothing. Autistic It is not the plague. It is not a virus. It is not a disease. It is not contagious. Autistic I need to have my TV and music on at all times because a completely silent house upsets me just as much as the annoying mega bass and hot rodding noises do, and because i love to listen to my music, and have my TV on, talking to me. Autistic No, it is not my excuse, nor do i use it as my shield, it is the reason why i hyper focus, hyper empathize, and experience each and every aspect of life at a deeper level than a neurotypical person does. Autistic Is the reason why there are so many things i have trouble doing or just cannot do. Please believe me when i say i can’t do something. Because i really cannot do that something. Autistic It is important that you listen and read between the lines when you listen to me. Let me talk. Let me feel what i feel. Don't shame or belittle me. Don't silence me. Don't make me afraid to talk. Please don’t talk over me, interrupt me, and assume i meant something else other than what i am trying to tell you that i mean. Autistic Please don’t talk about or bring up things you know will trigger and upset me, like past mistakes, past blunders, past fuck ups.
Autistic When i say something happened, it did happen. Please believe me. Autistic I am not a behavior problem, i am not demanding, i am not broken, damaged or faulty. Autistic Please don't tell me to just walk around with headphones on all day. I should not have to adjust, or adapt, to my environment, especially in my own home, and especially when the noises of the bass and loud hot rodding are being done deliberately to bully and torment me. Autistic Please don't tone police me and tell me not to cuss, talk too loud, or use quiet hands. I need to be me. I grew up not being able to be me, and i can't do that anymore Autistic I am not violent. I am most likely to hit myself or a wall or slam a door, than hurt anyone else during a meltdown. Autistic Please be happy for the achievements i make. Autistic Please, learn to understand and accept me and don't give up on me and throw me away. It will just make me want to give up and never try at all anymore.